The Bachelor Party

I’m going to a bachelor party this weekend. It’s for my friend Chris, and the details of the party have been kept a secret from him. I haven’t spoken with him so I don’t know how he’s handling it, but if I were him I would be in terrified. The thing with bachelor parties is that they’re not really for the bachelor. The bachelor is a guy who’s been single for ages, so he’s enjoyed the freedom of his life up until now. Bachelor parties are for all of his friends. It’s the weekend their significant others take the kids, they don’t have to wake up at 5 a.m., and they get to behave like idiots for a few days. I found out last night that Chris is being picked up and will have to wear a sleep mask for “as long as he can stand it.” If it were me that’d be about half a second.