Passwords Are The Worst

You know those awful websites that make you change your password every two months but won’t let you have sequential passwords (i.e. password1, password2, etc.)? I found a great workaround: all you need to do is add an asterisk at the end and then you can make them sequential, guaranteeing that you’ll only have to guess the password about ten times before getting it right. This whole password thing, by the way, is absurd. It’s like you bought a record and then every time you want to listen to it the next 10 years you have to show someone the receipt. I for one welcome the looming biometric data like fingerprints and retinal scanners we’ll be able to use instead of passwords. I know everyone is paranoid about privacy, but they have all the rest of your information already. At least I don’t have to worry about people stealing my fingers and eyeballs to hack my accounts.