Work Holidays

You never get off as many national holidays as you think you will when you start a new job. A lot of offices even make you choose if you'd rather have Labor or Memorial Day off. What a waste, it's not like anyone actually does any work when they have to go to work on Labor Day. It seems like everyone else in the entire universe has the day off so you show up late and hungover and then leave early. And since no one's working in other offices, it's not like you can collaborate outside of your own office. The only company I know that gives every single state, national, and religious holiday off are liquor stores in Utah. They even close on Flag Day and Arbor Day. Arbor Day! Every good arborist knows you want to have a few beers on hand for the tree-planting ceremony.