Surf Lessons are Pretty Much What You'd Expect

It's been my lifelong goal to become proficient at surfing, but I never took an actual lesson until last summer. I'm sad to report that it was basically exactly what you'd expect. My instructor had a mop of bleach blonde hair and spoke with a slow Southern California drawl despite growing up on Long Island in New York. My girlfriend received all the instruction and attention, while I was occasionally pushed in the direction of a wave. There's something shockingly visceral about coming face-to-face with a person who embodies a stereotype of the prototypical surfer that you've considered nonsense your entire life. I wanted to throw his flip-flops in the ocean and shake him until his speech returned to normal.