The close-door button in the elevator does nothing. You can hammer the hell out of it from the moment the doors pop open, and it won't make them close any faster than they normally would. That button must be the biggest practical joke in the world. Speaking of practical jokes, the phrase 'practical joke' itself makes no sense. If a joke were being practical, it would be showing you the error of the ways instead of dumping a bucket of cold water on your head when you're standing in the shower.
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