Big Shop of Horrors

I have bad luck with plants. Mostly because I neglect them, give them too much water, not enough water, too much sunlight, not enough sunlight, or forget they’re alive. So when I moved into my new place in Salt Lake and needed some greenery, I went to the local Home Depot. They said they’d take my plants back at a full refund if they died, as long as I held onto the receipt and made it back within a year. My two ‘extremely hardy’ plants foundered for a few weeks before succumbing to a combination of what I can only assume to be overwatering and not enough/too much light. I left them on the floor of my room for 11 more months, then right before the year was up, I took them back. The clerk at Home Depot looked at me like I was returning a dead puppy. Fortunately, I’m better at keeping receipts than plants, so I had all my money returned. I used it to buy AA batteries and a 12-pack of PBR from the gas station. I could have gotten the batteries from Home Depot, but I felt like I was robbing the place so I was in a big hurry to get out of there.