Don't Ask a Man Carrying a Shovel at Night for Directions

It makes me uncomfortable to see a guy walking alone carrying a shovel around the city. Snow shovels are okay if it was winter, I'm talking about earth-moving shovels. A guy carrying a shovel around at night has secrets, things you don't want to know. Carrying a shovel can only mean you just dug something up or you're on your way to bury something. And it's worse when you see the guy with the shovel walking around late at night, because then you know whatever needs digging can't wait until morning. If I was a cop, I would probably get in trouble for profiling guys carrying shovels around because my only police tactic would be to follow these people until they lead me to the scene of their crime.