Mixed Signals at Work

Someone threw a semaphore through the window at my old gear shop, which was a terribly confusing incident since I had no idea what a semaphore was. It's kind of like the time my friend Nate said he was going to meet a friend from out of town who was driving a champagne-colored car, and Chris went along just so he could find out what color 'champagne' was. I looked up semaphore after getting the news and found out that it's a system for conveying information by means of visual signals. I thought maybe it was some flags or air traffic controller lights that had been thrown through the window, but when I arrived at work I found out that it was just a "Don't Walk" sign someone had ripped off the light post across the street. Really it was a hell of a throw all the way across the street, through our window, and to the back corner of the store, but all that was left out of the story. No one was hurt, nothing had been stolen, and for some reason the alarm hadn't gone off. The only thing on which we all agreed was that we needed to put someone new in charge of disseminating this kind of information to the employees, and that new person shouldn't use words like "semaphore" when telling stories about windows broken overnight.